lost somewhere.

dear diary,

I'm here and it's been awhile. I'm back in nz and I have no idea what is wrong with me. I just feel lost and maybe a little bit sad? The thing is I don't even know what am i really feeling. I'm glad that I have him by my side most of the time, I'm glad he is willing to spend more than 400 days with me, I'm glad I have him... However whenever I'm at home or alone out there I feel like I have no one else. It's like I'm just another person walking pass down the street like how I see any other strangers with no one beside them. I have really low self-esteem and to be honest I have more confident than before like way more.. Thing is I think he has changed me to a better person and I'm too attached which is like it's a good or a bad thing? I have no idea what is wrong with me. I'm feeling so lonely and I have no idea who to talk to, as if I have nobody that can talk to. like when I'm sad I have no one else. I'm just sitting on my bed typing all my feelings out it's like the old times again.
I'm lost and I need to be better than this.

someone please exists and spend your time with me.
J.