back in town.

dear diary,

It's been so long since I came by and tell you what I've been through. I'm back in the old town and I feel weird coming back. I felt like coming back into a place where I dont belong. Felt unwelcomed and I really do hate coming back to Malaysia as I see how many friends the sis has and compare to mine I'm just like nothing. I should say I'm always no one's friend. Frankly, I just feel unwanted every single time I see how many friends she has. Couldn't even find a person to talk about it and I mean I really want to share it but things arent just what you wanted to be. Well, it's been 3 days and now I'm still home taking care of grandma. Finger crossing for her and just wish she could be better. How I wish the boy will be here and cuddle with him. I really want to go back earlier to settle all the uni stuff and also just leave this place. A place where memories are being collected no matter how bad or good was it. An accompanied by an instrument mayb? now I wish I can have a ukulele just to let me relax a little or a book to let me waste my time on. Staying home with this weather just no no no... there's no where to go. there's nothing to do and I just wish mayb someone would care about me. I dont want to just stick with the sis and her friends. Someone please maybe come out and just talk a little? I miss home. I miss when I've nothing to think and nothing to be worried about. I wish I'm still in collage at least i get some test and works to work on. I miss home. I miss both home in some way but not in this condition.

Just maybe you can understand me.

J.