attempting.

dear diary,
here I am again and hey I'm feeling so tired not in tired tired but actually feeling tired from doing too much stuff. As I mentioned last night, we had a party with the same good o people. Before party went to karaoke with them... for the first time. w/ steven, danny, arthur, the twins, Christina, dylan, paul and boyfriend. It was actually average but party was awesme. drank heaps with Julie and Kevin joining us after. I should say this party is not as crazy but I enjoyed it. Catherine was drunk and Paul was stoned and Steven was on high. This is just so attempting to watch. Took care of her in study room with paul him and Julie. we were just helpless but at least we were there for her. after awhile we got tired and she finally settled.
Get to the point, we cuddled yes without anything to be cared. from study room to my room. We cuddled and cuddled and there it happens. He kissed and I bit his lips and I smiled everytime i bite him. that feeling is just melting. I love this guy and I assume he loves me back? Well, then we got to the point where our body is not listening to our heard. Just like John Green's "Looking For Alaska"... theres no layer between us after awhile. I felt his everything so close to me and we kissed again and again. The neck kissing to my chest and there we go the bottom attempt. from 4 layers to 3 and to no layers I touched his body he grabbed mine and just like we've tried it before. I was tired after the first half hour and I thought we were going to end just like that but that guy just couldnt stop and it continues for quite long. From top to the bottom. O boy, never thought he would do these stuff but it was good. I felt good about it although i got bruises everywhere and I think he was hard and he hit me hard. just above my vagina it hurts when i touched it. I dont know how it happens but after all the dry sex was <3 i loved it but I dont think he did. that kiss was awful I dont know how to kiss really. I suck at this and if theres a chance I will not even move and let him do the job.
we will hav a better night.
thanks diary.

J.